I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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