You're completely useless in the revolution.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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