I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
