you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I think I sprained my soul last night
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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