was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My balls are so social today.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
