Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
