once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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