what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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