Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
