so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
