What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize
