Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
