so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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