i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
