I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize