Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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