Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Are we still banned from the library?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
