i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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