My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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