So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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