he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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