DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
