Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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