Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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