I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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