cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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