yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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