Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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