he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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