My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
