I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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