we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
