i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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