Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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