i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Yo dont text me then not text me
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
