is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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