Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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