I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
