I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
