You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
