im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
