Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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