if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
