I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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