all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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