Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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