Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
