Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
There r osticjed everywhere
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
