the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I look better un-naked...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm just crazy horny about you
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
