i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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