he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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