Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
