I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
